wow...

I usually like to keep an update of our lives (Magda and I) but well.... I feel like the sun and moon has failed me once again. I have been "here" for far too long and I don't know what to do anymore.

"Dear Magda,
I love you so much. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine doing anything without you. I am totally absorbed...you have changed me. You have altered my priorities and I thank you so much for that. I just want to say that I am so sorry for the fights. The arguments. The screaming. I do love your father. But so much shit has built up that it seems like WE CAN'T GET THROUGH IT ANYMORE. No matter what, we love you. You are our everything. this.. this...."

FUCK. What do you do or say when you are with someone and its not working out.... and you have a kid. I changed for him, and i am trying my damn hardest to make him happy to make this work. But it just seems like nothing i do or say can fix this. "Enough" has become a foreign word. I am not saying its all his fault. I too have done and said things I am not proud of. But, shit... i changed. I am trying. It seems like he lost all patience with me.
I started to slowly build up this hatred toward him while I was pregnant. It was hard, the whole pregnancy, on my body, emotions... And I did my best to be the best "wife" but it seemed like no matter what things were not getting better between him and I. I stayed, thinking things will change as soon as Magda was born. At times things are great. But then all I think about is what if I say the wrong thing, or do something stupid. what if he keeps pushing my buttons and I explode on him and just leave???? I love him and want to make this work. But I DO NOT want Magda to grow up with parents that fight all the time. I did and it was horrible. So what do we do. Counseling? keep trying? Gosh... what a fucking lame blog. Sorry.

Goodbye Ike

-So it was crazy. This whole Hurricane thing. AHHHHH! Im soooo glad we are moving back to Reno. Here is what happened: It was cloudy and a lil wind Friday night, I fell asleep around 1am, the wind started to pick up a lil speed but nothing bad. And then I woke up (scared) around 2am cause our window in our bedroom sounded like it was going to fly out. The rain was coming in sideways and it was windy as hell. The power went out around 2:45am and it was nothing but loud noises all night. I swear it sounded as though our whole apartment was going to be crushed. I never heard noises like that before!! YES I was a lil scared. I was really worried that the windows were going to break or something worse. Then the power came back on around 5:30 and stayed on. Around 10am the hurricane winds died down. A bit. It was still crazy outside. And it (most streets where we lived) was flooded. We were all good though. I hardly slept, my sis didnt sleep at all (she was alert and just wanted to know what was going on), rick slept through most of it and Magda... well our lil Magpie slept through the whole thing. We went outside after the whole thing and saw alot of trees were blown, debris everywhere, but no big damages at our apartments. Wish I can say the same for the rest of the cities that got hit by Ike. Our hearts and prayers are with those who did suffer and lost alot, anything...everything. That was a crazy experience and one that I DO NOT WISH TO EXPERIENCE AGAIN. Here is a pic of the street outside of the gate to our apartment. Here is another one...
Many places still have no power, and I hope it doesn't last long, cause we need food. since I was not sure how long the power was going to be off (only 3hours for us) I didnt buy any food that needed to be cooked/cold.
-I watched Lost today for the first time (the first 4 episodes aired on SciFi) and I LOVE IT. I was never such a "t.v. person" but since we moved to Houston... well being pregnant, no friends, I didnt drive at first, and being alone at home all day/night... well there was nothing else. ahhh.
-Magda is doing great. When I wake up at night, I look at her and I want to just nibble on her cheeks! She is the cutest thing ever. She wakes up 2-3 times during the night. Which I don't mind since I wake up anyway through out the night. Its around 6am when she is so tired but doesnt want to go to sleep where its tough. But its not bad. She is making more and more noises and I LOVE IT! I swear she talks sometimes. "Wha, o.k., no, yeahhhh..." and other lil things that she says. Well it sounds like she says them. She started to suck on my hand every time I carry her now. She sometimes gets frustrated because she tries to put my whole hand in her mouth and cant. She also makes the "yum, mum,yum, yummmm" sound when she eats. ADORABLE.
-I am also so emotional now that I am a mom. yeah can we say "cry baby" arrrrr.
-here is another pic of my "Fuzz-bot" with her blankie
here she looks like a lil "irish fuzz-bot" Ciao!

Oh Ike..

Hurricane is coming. So getting ready for that. We are close to downtown Houston, so no evacuation (yet) but who knows what will go on tomorrow. Ciao everyone!

Almost...

-So things have been crazy. You see that you have a few months before you move, then all of a sudden you wake up and you have weeks.... so much to do. Pack/Clean/Pack...
-I am loving how much Magda is smiling and laughing more. She gets a kick out of hearing her own laugh and when I blow in her face... she does this Kick back laugh that cracks me up. I want to get it on video but every time she sees the camera she just stares and wont laugh. she is shy...
-I am reading this book right now its freaking hilarious!I get relieved when I hear about other moms that go through some of the same stuff as me.
-So its our anniversary this month (the 24th) and Rick wants to take me out to eat... I just dont know where. Hmmmmm....
-Magda received her first Dr. Seuss book="Yertle the Turtle and other stories" She LOVES IT... well I think she does, either that or just the fact that I make funny voices when I read it to her. She is learning to hold on to things now... here she is just hugging her bears. She loves her new blankie!!! Ciao

-So My hand is feeling much better. Im not sure what happened, I woke up one morning to change Magda and my hand hurt like hell. I thought I slept on it or something. Well 2days later and 6 hours in the E.R. I was diagnosed with a sprained ligament. I really didn’t want to go to the hospital but it hurt so bad I couldn’t even change my kids diapers (I actually tried with my mouth… thank goodness she’s not a boy or I probably would have gotten pee in my eye…) It is still hard to hold on things and make a fist, but I can finally hold on to my almost 12lb kid!

-Our t.v. was broken. Its Ricks 56’ and he was all mad since we are still trying to save money for our move back to Reno. I told him I could fix it (but I think he wasn’t so sure about it) all we needed was a new projection lamp, a screwdriver and tada. Problem fixed. I told him I am good at fixing things (I use to build and fix slot machines) but like any man… since I am a woman I “probably have no clue how things work” Blah on that….

-I watched two new movies…. An American Crime=totally sad and at times you will be pissed!! And The life before her eyes=it has a twist, at times sad, slow, interesting.

-I am stressing with so much stuff right now. With the move, Baby, and my marriage being a lil rocky lately I really just cant wait to get to Reno and hang out with some of my closest friends to talk/vent/cry! It sucks cause I am a BIG family person and I have a big family and they can be nosey or even a lil to pushy at times but they don’t mean harm. But my husband…. Well family and Husbands sometimes are like oil and vinegar…. AHHHHHHHHHHH Hope it gets better.

-Lately my munchkin has been super smiley and a giggle monkey. She is such a happy baby I LOVE IT!!! Look at how chunky she is getting... Ciao

ouch!!!!

my right hand is messed up (i sprained a ligament) so ill write a good blog soon. ciao

Why o why????

1. Bob Saget is a true gansta! Goodness gracious who'd a thought he was such a dirty motha ..... I watched all the full house episodes (yes i did) and americas funniest home videos and he was such a nerd and oh so holy to me... then I watch his roasting show tonight on comedy central. and i was like "wha" and my husband said "oh yeah bobs old stand up shows were REALLY DIRTY..." HA.
   
2. True story: me at my kinder graduation....
   

   TEACHER: "Araceli, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

   CELI: "I want to be a Marine bigologist"

   TEACHER: "Oh you mean a Marine Biologist...now, why do you want to be that when you get older?"

   CELI: "So I can eat all the seafood I want for free!!!"

   NO JOKE, THIS IS TRUE.... HAHAHA

3. Magdas hair has grown, but only at the back (rick says she has a mullet... tee hee) so I have made bows but they wont stay on her yet, but I tried today (AS LONG AS SHE DIDNT MOVE... and with the help of a lil tape. Yeah I know....)


P.s. I will be writing more in my other blog (you click on my pic to go to it). I love my kid, but I do have more to say about me, and how I feel.... dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong about writing about her "firsts" and how much I love the kid. But mommie shark-o-logist needs to vent!!! aye! Ciao