Life....

Is crazy. People are crazy. People SUCK. I dont know how long it has been since Rick and I have been apart, but it seems like forever ago.... And I feel so alone. Like I am doing everything... ALONE. Do I love him? Of course, he is the father of our child. He gave me the greatest gift ever!!! But Im not in love with him anymore. So many fights, resentments, ahhh.... Im not being selfish, I dont want Magda to grow up with loveless parents (for each other) like I did. Parents who would fight all the time. NO. It has not been so good for a long time. But people dont change (me) and some change (him) for the worst. We couldnt go pretending anymore. It was inevitable. Good we are being civil about the whole thing. (Yeah when I said People SUCK... I mean other people) That was the last thing I needed was a messy divorce. Am I scared. Fuck yeah. But I must go on. I have to strive. I have my chubsters to take care of I will not fail at that. It will be hard. But whose life isnt??? I will go on. I must.