My lil Cherry Doll....

So we are doing better. Im actually feeling good (well besides the whole getting sick thing). I feel refreshed. Even my friends say that I look better and Im not all "mopey" and depressed like I use to be. Im supppppper stoked about my life now. And right now I am working on my life. On getting Celi to be Celi once again. I had lost myself and who I was for a long time and no more feeling sorry for myself, its bout time I did something.
We are staying at my bestessssss Friends house with her man. We have been best of friends (soul sistas) for almost nine years now and her boyfriend (whom we love to death) has been with her for almost 8. So he is like family. Plus they are great with Magda. They love her soooooo! Goodness who wouldnt? I asked them to be her Godparents and they got all teary eyed and said "YES!" They have helped us alot. Taking us in and just being there. I am truly grateful.
So the weather has been freaking great lately. (Spoke too soon just saw its about to change this weekend... bummer) So we have been going on walks and hanging out outside soaking up the sun. I am content right now. I love it!!!!
Here are some pics of my chubsters in her lil summer dress (even though its almost winter!!!) And one of my Life and me... Ciao enjoy

Life....

Is crazy. People are crazy. People SUCK. I dont know how long it has been since Rick and I have been apart, but it seems like forever ago.... And I feel so alone. Like I am doing everything... ALONE. Do I love him? Of course, he is the father of our child. He gave me the greatest gift ever!!! But Im not in love with him anymore. So many fights, resentments, ahhh.... Im not being selfish, I dont want Magda to grow up with loveless parents (for each other) like I did. Parents who would fight all the time. NO. It has not been so good for a long time. But people dont change (me) and some change (him) for the worst. We couldnt go pretending anymore. It was inevitable. Good we are being civil about the whole thing. (Yeah when I said People SUCK... I mean other people) That was the last thing I needed was a messy divorce. Am I scared. Fuck yeah. But I must go on. I have to strive. I have my chubsters to take care of I will not fail at that. It will be hard. But whose life isnt??? I will go on. I must.

The Begining.... The End?

Well I am sorry I havent kept up on my blogs. Since we got to Reno I have been busy/sick/stressed!!!! Magda gots a runny nose. And... well I will write about this later, but for now to keep it short....Im getting a divorce. Its final. God i want to just... I dont know. Sucks. Ciao for now.

Oh Mag-pie....

Here are some pics of My Magda while in AZ... Enjoy Ciao.
p.s. 2 more days til Reno!!!!!!

Once Again...

1. Well I am here in Tucson. Actually been here since the 14th. We (Magda and I) have been spending alot of our time with "Grandma Lety" (my ma) and my lil sis. We are going to be here until Sat., then we are off to Reno!!! Yayayayayay. Just not looking forward to the cold yet.
   
2. NO MORE HOUSTON!!! Yay.
   
3. I cant wait to go out dancing!!! We (fam. and my bestest friends) are going out the night we get to Reno. Its been sooooo long and I cant wait cause I love shaking my bootie!!! I also need a night out with my peeps!
4. We have been taking many pics (well my ma has been camera snap-happy) of Magda I just have to put them on the comp. Ill do it soon, just been crazy cause Magda...
5. Magda is teething (YEAH I KNOW....) so she has been extra fussy lately, plus with the whole moving and new people/places she is overwhelmed. She FIGHTS it so bad when she is so tired. She does not want to sleep whatsoever. All the "excitement" tee hee.
   
6. She did great on the plane, she actually slept the whole way (2hrs 45min) I was so nervous but my kid was like "yah, this is boring...*snore*" <---yes she snores sometimes, well its more like a "wheezy" hehehe
7. So I have been super stressed, overwhelmed, tired, and feeling like "poo" lately. Yuck. I feel so uninspired, like I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel lost. I am truly blessed and grateful for my Magda and I know I shouldn't even complain... aye. Hopefully "this" goes away

almost

Sorry I havent kept up... We are getting ready to leave. Its been CRAZY!!! We get our internet and cable turned off tomorrow, so I wont be able to check in until I either go somewhere to get some "wifi" or wait til im in Tucson. Take care and chat with you all later. Ciao
p.s. Magda is a CHATTER BOX!! i love it!

My hero....

-Things have calmed down. For now. All I know is without this lil oneId go crazy. She is my hero...
-Speaking of heros.... Im a big Bigggg "Heroes" fan and new season starts tonight. So we got our munchies ready!!!
-Things to do: Pack, Clean, Pack, Get rid of some stuff... AND PACK. Oye I hate moving. Let this time be the last time (at least for awhile) I went from Reno to Ca to Reno to Houston... ahhhh
-Magda swears she can walk now. She only likes sitting down, being up!!! And when we put her on her feet to stand she gets all excited and shakes everywhere. I love when she stretches cause she tucks in her legs and sticks out her butt. Tee hee. ciao

wow...

I usually like to keep an update of our lives (Magda and I) but well.... I feel like the sun and moon has failed me once again. I have been "here" for far too long and I don't know what to do anymore.

"Dear Magda,
I love you so much. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine doing anything without you. I am totally absorbed...you have changed me. You have altered my priorities and I thank you so much for that. I just want to say that I am so sorry for the fights. The arguments. The screaming. I do love your father. But so much shit has built up that it seems like WE CAN'T GET THROUGH IT ANYMORE. No matter what, we love you. You are our everything. this.. this...."

FUCK. What do you do or say when you are with someone and its not working out.... and you have a kid. I changed for him, and i am trying my damn hardest to make him happy to make this work. But it just seems like nothing i do or say can fix this. "Enough" has become a foreign word. I am not saying its all his fault. I too have done and said things I am not proud of. But, shit... i changed. I am trying. It seems like he lost all patience with me.
I started to slowly build up this hatred toward him while I was pregnant. It was hard, the whole pregnancy, on my body, emotions... And I did my best to be the best "wife" but it seemed like no matter what things were not getting better between him and I. I stayed, thinking things will change as soon as Magda was born. At times things are great. But then all I think about is what if I say the wrong thing, or do something stupid. what if he keeps pushing my buttons and I explode on him and just leave???? I love him and want to make this work. But I DO NOT want Magda to grow up with parents that fight all the time. I did and it was horrible. So what do we do. Counseling? keep trying? Gosh... what a fucking lame blog. Sorry.

Goodbye Ike

-So it was crazy. This whole Hurricane thing. AHHHHH! Im soooo glad we are moving back to Reno. Here is what happened: It was cloudy and a lil wind Friday night, I fell asleep around 1am, the wind started to pick up a lil speed but nothing bad. And then I woke up (scared) around 2am cause our window in our bedroom sounded like it was going to fly out. The rain was coming in sideways and it was windy as hell. The power went out around 2:45am and it was nothing but loud noises all night. I swear it sounded as though our whole apartment was going to be crushed. I never heard noises like that before!! YES I was a lil scared. I was really worried that the windows were going to break or something worse. Then the power came back on around 5:30 and stayed on. Around 10am the hurricane winds died down. A bit. It was still crazy outside. And it (most streets where we lived) was flooded. We were all good though. I hardly slept, my sis didnt sleep at all (she was alert and just wanted to know what was going on), rick slept through most of it and Magda... well our lil Magpie slept through the whole thing. We went outside after the whole thing and saw alot of trees were blown, debris everywhere, but no big damages at our apartments. Wish I can say the same for the rest of the cities that got hit by Ike. Our hearts and prayers are with those who did suffer and lost alot, anything...everything. That was a crazy experience and one that I DO NOT WISH TO EXPERIENCE AGAIN. Here is a pic of the street outside of the gate to our apartment. Here is another one...
Many places still have no power, and I hope it doesn't last long, cause we need food. since I was not sure how long the power was going to be off (only 3hours for us) I didnt buy any food that needed to be cooked/cold.
-I watched Lost today for the first time (the first 4 episodes aired on SciFi) and I LOVE IT. I was never such a "t.v. person" but since we moved to Houston... well being pregnant, no friends, I didnt drive at first, and being alone at home all day/night... well there was nothing else. ahhh.
-Magda is doing great. When I wake up at night, I look at her and I want to just nibble on her cheeks! She is the cutest thing ever. She wakes up 2-3 times during the night. Which I don't mind since I wake up anyway through out the night. Its around 6am when she is so tired but doesnt want to go to sleep where its tough. But its not bad. She is making more and more noises and I LOVE IT! I swear she talks sometimes. "Wha, o.k., no, yeahhhh..." and other lil things that she says. Well it sounds like she says them. She started to suck on my hand every time I carry her now. She sometimes gets frustrated because she tries to put my whole hand in her mouth and cant. She also makes the "yum, mum,yum, yummmm" sound when she eats. ADORABLE.
-I am also so emotional now that I am a mom. yeah can we say "cry baby" arrrrr.
-here is another pic of my "Fuzz-bot" with her blankie
here she looks like a lil "irish fuzz-bot" Ciao!

Oh Ike..

Hurricane is coming. So getting ready for that. We are close to downtown Houston, so no evacuation (yet) but who knows what will go on tomorrow. Ciao everyone!

Almost...

-So things have been crazy. You see that you have a few months before you move, then all of a sudden you wake up and you have weeks.... so much to do. Pack/Clean/Pack...
-I am loving how much Magda is smiling and laughing more. She gets a kick out of hearing her own laugh and when I blow in her face... she does this Kick back laugh that cracks me up. I want to get it on video but every time she sees the camera she just stares and wont laugh. she is shy...
-I am reading this book right now its freaking hilarious!I get relieved when I hear about other moms that go through some of the same stuff as me.
-So its our anniversary this month (the 24th) and Rick wants to take me out to eat... I just dont know where. Hmmmmm....
-Magda received her first Dr. Seuss book="Yertle the Turtle and other stories" She LOVES IT... well I think she does, either that or just the fact that I make funny voices when I read it to her. She is learning to hold on to things now... here she is just hugging her bears. She loves her new blankie!!! Ciao

-So My hand is feeling much better. Im not sure what happened, I woke up one morning to change Magda and my hand hurt like hell. I thought I slept on it or something. Well 2days later and 6 hours in the E.R. I was diagnosed with a sprained ligament. I really didn’t want to go to the hospital but it hurt so bad I couldn’t even change my kids diapers (I actually tried with my mouth… thank goodness she’s not a boy or I probably would have gotten pee in my eye…) It is still hard to hold on things and make a fist, but I can finally hold on to my almost 12lb kid!

-Our t.v. was broken. Its Ricks 56’ and he was all mad since we are still trying to save money for our move back to Reno. I told him I could fix it (but I think he wasn’t so sure about it) all we needed was a new projection lamp, a screwdriver and tada. Problem fixed. I told him I am good at fixing things (I use to build and fix slot machines) but like any man… since I am a woman I “probably have no clue how things work” Blah on that….

-I watched two new movies…. An American Crime=totally sad and at times you will be pissed!! And The life before her eyes=it has a twist, at times sad, slow, interesting.

-I am stressing with so much stuff right now. With the move, Baby, and my marriage being a lil rocky lately I really just cant wait to get to Reno and hang out with some of my closest friends to talk/vent/cry! It sucks cause I am a BIG family person and I have a big family and they can be nosey or even a lil to pushy at times but they don’t mean harm. But my husband…. Well family and Husbands sometimes are like oil and vinegar…. AHHHHHHHHHHH Hope it gets better.

-Lately my munchkin has been super smiley and a giggle monkey. She is such a happy baby I LOVE IT!!! Look at how chunky she is getting... Ciao

ouch!!!!

my right hand is messed up (i sprained a ligament) so ill write a good blog soon. ciao

Why o why????

1. Bob Saget is a true gansta! Goodness gracious who'd a thought he was such a dirty motha ..... I watched all the full house episodes (yes i did) and americas funniest home videos and he was such a nerd and oh so holy to me... then I watch his roasting show tonight on comedy central. and i was like "wha" and my husband said "oh yeah bobs old stand up shows were REALLY DIRTY..." HA.
   
2. True story: me at my kinder graduation....
   

   TEACHER: "Araceli, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

   CELI: "I want to be a Marine bigologist"

   TEACHER: "Oh you mean a Marine Biologist...now, why do you want to be that when you get older?"

   CELI: "So I can eat all the seafood I want for free!!!"

   NO JOKE, THIS IS TRUE.... HAHAHA

3. Magdas hair has grown, but only at the back (rick says she has a mullet... tee hee) so I have made bows but they wont stay on her yet, but I tried today (AS LONG AS SHE DIDNT MOVE... and with the help of a lil tape. Yeah I know....)


P.s. I will be writing more in my other blog (you click on my pic to go to it). I love my kid, but I do have more to say about me, and how I feel.... dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong about writing about her "firsts" and how much I love the kid. But mommie shark-o-logist needs to vent!!! aye! Ciao

Rain Rain Dont go Away!

1. I made this today: I browned chicken then put in the oven with a sauce I made of: Cilantro, Oregano (both fresh), Salt, Pepper, Tomato, onion, garlic and a small green chili pepper. I blended it and poured it over the chicken and put in the oven for 20min. and served it with rice. It came out "purdyyyy good" yum!
2. I will miss this weather here in texas, (oh its official our tickets to Tucson/Reno have been purchased!) Its raining cats and dogs... well it was...
3. I totally forgot how much Indian Burns hurt... yah my Hubby thought it was funny...me... not so much!

Magda Enjoy!:

I would Kick your ass at Disney Trivia...

1. So we have been eating alot of chicken lately (not sure why, but I rarely crave red meat, or pork... but fish... yum!) and I wanted to do something new so I decided to make this... I dont know what to call it... I coated the chicken in flour (lightly) then seared it. (Kinda like Chicken Piccata) Then took it out of the pan and with some "brown bits" still in there i added garlic and lemon zest. Then added white wine, lemon juice (although i think next time i wont put so much lemon juice cause it was a lil sour) red pepper flakes and dijon mustard. I would have added some kinda herb but didnt have any (perhaps taragon or parsley) I let it reduce then put some cold butter in it to make it a lil thicker. I then put the chicken back in and added some pasta. Tada! Easy too.
   
2. Its crazy that no matter how long it has been i can freaking recite almost every disney movie. ha!
3. Magda found out she really loves sucking on her left fist. its so funny, all we hear is her "suck suck suck" She also thinks she can run or something, she kicks her legs in the bicycle motion like if there is no tomorrow. she smiles when you look at her. hahaha. Her hair is super brownish red.... my lil Irishkin baby! I love her. -Sigh-
4. So I have seen a few movies lately that I really like:Dedication=Funny, romantic cute Chaos Theory=funny,Romantic,cute and Bella=SAD,LOVELY,FUCKING GREAT!
   
5. Ciao!

Shots

Oh my goodness, today Magda had her two months shots and it hurt me more than it hurt her. Really, she was a trooper!

So.....Why a GREAT WHITE SHARK-O-LOGIST?

So I LOVE Great Whites and I didnt know if there was a name for a scientist that studied great whites only (and not a Marine bio.) so i made one up and someone said "OH CELI THERE IS NO SUCH THING..." sooooo....

I shall be a neologist first (someone who makes new words for the dictionary) and then i can become a GREAT WHITE SHARK-O-LOGIST. So... thats that. Word. That is all for now. Ciao

Update:

Ahhhh... so I have some time to write.

1. Magda has these flip flops and I know people say "oh you wont even use those shoes on an infant" its always so cute to just put them on....
2. So its for SURE NOW that we are going to Tucson before we go to Reno in October (to visit my mom) so I am sooooo excited but kinda nervous to travel with Magda, Has anyone traveled with an infant (she will be 41/2 months)? If so... GOT ANY TIPS????
3. Today I made a meal I haven't made in a long time.... Chicken Tortilla soup Yum!!!
4. Tropical Storm... yahhhh. IT WAS NOTHING
5. We went out on Wednesday night, (for the first time since we've been here) I mean me getting dressed up out... To the Rocbar. It felt a lil weird since I haven't been out in a while, met some people and had a good time. I still miss my girls back home... -le sigh-
6. Here are some pics 1.)Magda showing off her flipflops 2.) the making of tortilla soup 3.)Me and Magda Enjoy! Ciao

Rewind

So I wanted to rewind a bit and write about my pregnancy and Magda (in the early days!)

So for the first three months I was sick… really really sick. It was hard to try to keep down water. Yucky. I actually lost a lot of weight. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed less than I did a yr. ago. 131lbs. I got a lot of comments from people, but whatever, I was eating.

The rest of the pregnancy…aye. Heart burn central, my body for some reason doesn’t take in vitamins so well, so my bones/back ached, and I was anemic. Then the emotions…. I was the biggest cry baby. Id cry at any thing my husband would say to me. I didn’t rest at all, couldn’t sleep and peed every minute (literally). I was like “who says pregnancy is beautiful… really?” But then It was time to have Magda, well she was due June 14^th (my mom is June 17^th and my bday is June 7^th… so 3 generations of Gemini women…hahaha) then it moved up June 12^th, then my last doc. appointment (June 3^rd) And this is how it went: Dr.: So you will check into the hospital tomorrow at 6 Me: Wait, What, Why? Dr.: You are having your baby on Thursday Me: What? No I’m not ready, I haven’t finished all the shopping, it’s too soon isn’t it, I’m all by myself here, wait… WHAT?

So off we went to the hospital (my amniotic fluid was low so I needed to have her), and the next day:

June 5^th 2008 at 4:08pm Magdalene Aiko Clark was born 6lbs 4oz. I felt some pain, actually the contractions at first were killing me (started around 11am) but she is worth any pain. We went home the next day and my butt was up and running like as if nothing, although I wish I had rested. Anyway, it has all still been soooo surreal. I wake up and look at her and think “WOW, she is mine!” no taking this kid back. Ha. (I use to work at an elementary school and the parents would tell me that I was so good with kids why I didn’t have any of my own, I would say “Oh, I like how it is now, you know at 6pm your kids go home…”, mind you I was 20yrs old)

So we went for her to get checked up on the 9^th and poor baby had to go to the Hospital because she had Jaundice, a level where she had to get photo-therapy. I cried at first cause I didn’t know what it was and was like “noooo, I just had her, don’t take her away!” but our visit was quite pleasant, she didn’t mind getting a lil tan. We were there 3days. And about a week later she was a normal color. she looked like a lil bug or aviator. tee hee

Fast forward: 2 Months today. I still can’t believe it. Some days/nights are crazy, I have never missed sleep like I have now, and I’m still full of emotions… but also I get to be this kids mom. I just hope I do a good job. Yes I worry about me being a mom, the concept, the metaphor, the theory. It is such a mystery. A mystery I will slowly come to understand.

Magda: I can’t imagine doing anything with out you. Totally absorbed, I lose myself within you, your tiny body…. My perfect child! Magda today Enjoy

A Package

-So a package came today from Grandma Lety today: Yeah my moms first lil hat.... tee hee. Its cute. Although my sis and I were wondering whats up with the string in the back. I love my mom.
-A Funny: So my mom and I were heading to South Beach Fl. And this was one of the funniest things my mom has said...
mind you she asked me in spanish
Mom: Chely, ask them for more peanuts for me please.
Me: Mom why cant you?
Mom: You know I cant say that word right....
Me: mom you can. Its PEE-NUTTTTS
Mom: ok.
Mom: Esxcuse mee. Hi, yes can I please ge sum more penises.
Flight attendant: Im sorry? (as her eyes opened wide)
Mom: Yes more penisisess.
Me: she means peanuts mam.
Mom: (with a pissed off look) aye chely see, I told you I didnt want to say it.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. She laughed afterwards though.
-So a tropical storm is comming!!! AHHHHHH.

Coming from Reno Nv this will be a "Lil interesting..." hmmm. We will see and I will keep you guys updated
-Quote: "if anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning" With that said... I hate fake people! ARRRRR.
Ciao